


A Cheap Rear End

by YourSecretAO3Acount



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friends to Lovers, More to come!! - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:43:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4964677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourSecretAO3Acount/pseuds/YourSecretAO3Acount
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some asshole just rear-ended John and he is so pissed I mean who the hell even is that stupid??</p>
<p>Dave just watched some moron slam on his brakes and not shits all fucked. Goddamn</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cheap Rear End

'SHIT!' Was Dave's only thought as he slammed on his brakes just a moment too late. His hand paused midway to the radio as his car thudded into the maroon Mustang in front of him. He cursed internally as a very annoyed, very good looking guy got out of the Mustang.

"HEY?!" He yelled, walking up to the driver's side window.

"Why the hell did you slam on your brakes? Do you even know, I just washed this car and now its all fucked." Dave called as the mystery douche got closer. He rolled down his window, then turned off the car.

"You totaled my boot! Oh my god, did you not see the brake lights!?" The man shouted, gesturing wildly. He had dark black hair and thick framed glasses. His eyes were a stunning shade of blue and he had on a Ghostbusters t-shirt.

"I might have been changing my radio station. Might've." Dave replied, straightening his red hoodie.

"Are you serious right now!? Shit what am I gonna do" He muttered, looking at the back of his car. The man walked forward and surveyed the damage

Dave stepped out of his car and joined the man in between the two cars. An annoyed woman honked as she drove around them and their mess.

"Okay, if your beats ended and fuckin polka came on wouldn't you change that shit ASAP?" Dave asked.

"This wasn’t even my car." The man replied, minor panic edging into his voice. "Shut up about your polka this is serious!" There was a glint of laughter behind the anger in his eyes now.

"Oh, damn." Dave said.

"He's gonna kill me! I'm screwed; I'm dead." The guy laced his fingers behind his neck, pacing back and forth.

"It's just a scratch dude, like no one's gonna notice." Dave attempted to reason.

"No you don't understand, this is my dads car. There's no way he won't notice." He said, emphasizing his point with yet another wild hand gesture.

"Sorry man, but you definitely are fucked. Royally fucked actually. Your only option now is to join the traveling circus and hope your dad doesn't ever show up. Dave teased. The stranger noticed that he always seemed to talk with his hands. 

"Ha. Ha. What helpful advice mister sunglasses." He replied. His tone indicated that he was not in the joking mood, but Dave saw him smile a bit.

"No offence, just offering up a creative solution." Dave said, shrugging and leaning on the hood of his car.

"It's okay, it'll be okay, I just.. I just need to blame you. Yeah, it was just all your fault." The man concluded after a few seconds.

"What."

"Yeah, he'll just be mad at you and that’s okay because he doesn't know you. Yeah, all your fault." He said, relieved that this plan might actually work.

"Uhm, scuse' you." Dave replied indignantly.

"You did kind of rear end me, so this is actually mostly your fault." He reasoned.

"Sir square frames this is not cool." Dave's tone gave away the fact that he was near laughing out loud at his own comment, but his expression didn't waver.

"Well mister cool guy you know what else isn't cool? Rear-ending people." He said, jabbing his finger accusingly at Dave but a smile played on his lips. "What's your name?" He asked.

"Uh.um. Jerry." Dave replied.

"Jerry..?"

"Yeah Jerry." Dave confirmed, nodding in fake affirmation. The man looked Dave up and down skeptically as he noted the name tag still present on the breast of his shirt. He internally high-fived himself for the discovery and grinned.

"Eherm." He cleared his throat and Dave knew his mistake without even needing to look down.

"Fuckin.. My goddamned name tag is still on isn't it." He sighed. He put his had over his face dramatically.

"'Why yes it is mister Dave Strider'." The man read. "Give me your number."

"Okay. 1111-234-5678, promise." Dave said.

"Really? So you expect me to believe that your number just so happens to be that particular set or numbers, despite the near impossibility of that?" He questioned.

"Yep. I swear that's it. I'm mister honest Abe over here."

"Yeah, says the guy who just tried to tell me his name was Jerry." He said, an eyebrow raised.

"Mister George Washington can-never-tell-a-lie." Dave continued. "Okay, so maybe I don't seem like the most trustworthy guy right now. I'd completely understand why you would think I was full of shit." He admitted.

"Are you drunk or something?" The guy questioned, squinting at Dave.

"So, about your car." Dave said, changing the subject.

"Oh my god, the ONE time I borrow my dad's car I get rear-ended by a drunk asshole!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "Can you cover the repair costs? If not I'm gonna sue this is ridiculous."

"First off I may be an asshole but I'm nowhere near drunk, secondly I'll pay for the repairs to your damn car, fuckin all of them I don’t even care just calm down." Dave said. He knew that his bank account would be crippled but for now he just want ed this stranger to chill.

He looked surprised. "Oh, uh, thanks. I didn't expect you to actually agree." The man thought that 'Dave's sudden attitude change was a little odd, but brushed it off.

"Well like you said I should've been paying attention so sorry I guess." Dave replied quietly.

"That’s, wow thank you. Sorry for calling you an asshole." He apologized.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed that I'm gonna die when I get home but whatever." Dave said briskly.

"Wait what? Die when you get home?" He asked, concern knitting his brow.

"Well not literally, I'll probably just get kicked out or something." Dave replied.

"Harsh parents?" The man asked cautiously.

"Not parents, just me and my bro." 

"Oh, sorry for you I guess."

"Nah, it's cool." Dave evaded the little waves of pity coming from the other guy.

"Is this his car?"

"Yup. No worries, he'll just call me an ungrateful lil bitch who doesn't deserve anything and be pissy for awhile."

"Oh. My dad doesn't swear, like, ever. When I was little I said shit once and he made me clean the toilet. Well, for a few minuets but then he told me to stop because it was unsanitary." The man said.

"Oh yeah. Bro is the fuck fountain in shitstain park when it comes to swearing."

"So, uh we should probably stop blocking the road." The man suggested. "You go grab a coffee while we hash out the details? I was on my way to lunch when you rudely shunted my ass".

"Yeah, again sorry for the ass-shunting." Dave said sheepishly.

"So was that a yeah to coffee?" He confirmed?

"Yeah that was a yeah to coffee, that was a hell yeah." Dave replied.

"A hell yeah, a whole hell yeah. I can see a shitty Starbucks from here, lets go there." 

"Yeah I'm so game for that." Dave said, smiling.

"Yeah. You're buying though." The man said.

"What? How could you betray me like this." Dave exclaimed, clutching his chest in mock agony. "Well I suppose I do owe you a bit. Okay."

"Hehe take this as a lesson on concentrating on the road I guess. " The stranger laughed. "But really, what if there had been a kid out?"

"Well I can tell you one thing for sure, he wouldn't have slammed on his breaks for a goddamned squirrel or whatever it was!" Dave countered.

"Hey! I slammed on my breaks because there was a wasp in the car." He mumbled in response.

"Oh my god. Were both idiots." Dave concluded.

"Speak for yourself! Wasps are literal devil spawns." The man exclaimed.

"I bet they like polka." Dave joked.

"I fucking bet they do."

"So.. Starbucks?" Dave asked, reminding the other man of their current position.

"Yeah, lets go put our cars in that lot over there and walk. By the way, I'm John." John said with a grin, gesturing towards a half full parking lot a few blocks over.

"Mhmkay, John." Dave said, testing his name out while walking back towards his door. He got in the car and waited.

The black haired man, John, got back in the Mustang and started the engine. He pulled away and Dave followed. They parked near each other and Dave waited for the other man to walk over to him.

"Lead the way shades." John said.

"Fuck yeah." Dave laughed "This way milady. He said, extravagantly offering the crook of his elbow to the guy and throwing in a wink for good measure.

"Oh wow sorry." John replied. "I must have missed that first whiff of Axe when we first met. Your fedaura was surprisingly subdued."

"Yeah I know, I'm so much of an ass that he fedora has been internalized. Scientists everywhere have been baffled for years" Dave explained, smiling widely.

"First you ram my ass, then you try to woo me, I'm so offended." John teased.

"Whoops. I'm supposed to do that in reverse order aren't I?" Dave shrugged.

"Is that all I am to you? A cheap rear end." He said, then burst with bubbly laughter. He and Dave laughed for a few moments before he said "I like toffee lattes by the way. Just saying.. That’s what you should get me." He smiled, a genuine toothy smile.

"After you." Dave swung the door open and held if open for John.


End file.
